


Cherry

by firstordershitposting (ald0us)



Series: Save Room For Dessert [1]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: First Time, M/M, Vaguely crack, fill for kyluxhardkinks, kylo is awful and I regret nothing, virgin!Hux
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-21
Updated: 2016-11-21
Packaged: 2018-09-01 05:17:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,314
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8610268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ald0us/pseuds/firstordershitposting
Summary: SLUTTY FEISTY GINGER TWINK VIRGIN ANNIHILATION or: Kylo Ren, alias Lord Ten Inches, is an amateur pornstar filming himself and the clients of his devirgining service for the internet and his geriatric neighbors.





	

**Author's Note:**

> fill for the brilliant kyluxhardkinks [prompt](http://kyluxhardkinks.tumblr.com/post/152739105571/kylo-is-an-amateur-pornstar-filming-himself): 
> 
> Kylo is an amateur pornstar filming himself fucking the clients of his devirgin-ing service. Cue slutty virgin hux stumbling upon the good reviews of kylos service and booking an "appointment." Make kylo as trailer park trashy as you can please.
> 
> Happy birthday, kylux!

_“I wanna feel what love is, and I want you to show me—_ “

Kylo pawed around for his phone where it lay next to a near-empty bag of Doritos, muting the TV where wrestlemania blared from the tinny speakers. “Kylo Ren, alias Lord Ten Inches,” he said, then knocked back the last of his beer. “What can I do you for?”

There was a silence over the line and he was about to hang up when a nervous and slightly reedy voice said, “ _I want to make an, uh, appointment.”_

Kylo frowned. He could practically feel the jittery apprehension radiating from the speaker of his phone (a lovely iPhone 4 that had been put through the wash, as well as....other places....more times than he cared to ponder). “An appointment?”

“ _Yeah. You know, for your uh, well, your services._ _Unless you’re on a walk-in basis only?”_ The last was with a nervous rise in pitch that could very well have been a voice crack.

“I usually am, but I suppose I could pencil you in,” Kylo said, smirking to himself at his own humor as he reached over the side of his armchair to fish out the second to last Budweiser in his eight-pack. “Doris, my calendar.”

“ _Who’s Doris?”_

“My secretary,” Kylo replied, stifling his laughter. “What time do you want?”

“ _Friday at one-thirty,”_ the voice answered swiftly and this time Kylo couldn’t stifle a snort.

“Real virgin or spiritual virgin? If you’re the real deal I’m gonna have to stop by for more lube.” He was nearly out. Considering the Costco-sized bottle—tank?—he bought off ebay just a month ago, that was saying something.

“ _Spiritual virgin? What’s that?”_ the voice asked, confusion wrinkling his tone. Well, at least Kylo was pretty sure he was male. You just couldn’t tell. Especially over the phone.

“Real virgin,” Kylo said, making a note on an empty Pizza Hut box. “Spiritual virgins are those born-agains who renounce all the dicks they sucked behind the bleachers in High School for the purity of god. Or something.”

A pause. “ _Why would they then want a virginity-taking service?”_

Kylo thought a moment. “Fuck if I know. But I get a lot of em.”

It was Florida after all. Never could predict the screwy bastards, god bless ‘em.

“ _Oh._ ” Another pause. “ _Where do I find you?”_

Kylo gave him his address by rote, fighting the temptation to unmute wrestlemania. Eventually he did, sagging into the couch and taking another gulp of beer. “I’ll be filming it. You do get that, right? Otherwise I offer my...” he cast around for the word the guy had used, “ _service_ for a fee.”

A _big_ fee. Kylo had a reputation to uphold, after all. And a nasty Pizza Hut habit—cheesy sticks and beer didn’t come for free. Anyone who wanted is _service_ either volunteered for his soon-to-be professional porn outfit (and really, who wouldn’t jump at the change to star with Lord Ten Inches), or paid for it. If he really liked them he might offer 15% of the royalties, but he found that tended to insult people more than please ‘em.

“ _I..I understand,”_ the guy stammered, sounding....well, exactly like a virgin. He was going to be perfect. Maybe he was a blushy one, too. Those always got him the most views. Kylo found himself getting a bit hard at the thought. After countless sweaty, middle-aged blue-collar workers, a bona fide twinky virgin would do wonders for his hit counts—and not to mention his libido. “ _Well, uh, Friday then?”_

“See ya,” Kylo replied, then hung up and tossed his phone onto the sagging couch cushion next to him and thought no more about it. Well, maybe he did think about it when he jerked off in the shower. But that was normal.

 

 

 

After countless wrong turns, heavy and creative verbal abuse of google maps, and more nervous jittering than he cared to admit, Armitage Hux arrived at the given address of Kylo Ren, alias Lord Ten Inches, de-virgin-er extraordinaire. And promptly decided he had been given the wrong address.

It was a trailer park, which didn’t surprise him. What _did_ surprise him was that the median age of the visible residents was somewhere between 75 and 80. Was Lord Ten Inches actually a geriatric with an above-average grasp on the usage of the Internet and a particularly cruel sense of humor (and/or a virgin kink)?

Maybe he was a serial killer. Hux vaguely recalled seeing a movie where a serial killer lived in a trailer park. Maybe Lord Ten Inches was a creep luring dumb, desperate virgins to a bloody end.

Not that he particularly minded the last part. If Hux didn’t have sex with someone _soon,_ he’d bloody pay for Lord Ten Inches, or anyone, to put him out of his horny misery. He figured given he had even entertained the idiotic idea in the first place he fit “dumb and desperate” pretty well.

He parked with one hand and fished his phone out of the passenger seat with the other and dialed Ren’s number, cringing as his car crunched over a pot of azaleas. Ren picked up and before Hux could say anything, the familiar baritone said, “ _Kylo Ren, alias Lord Ten Inches, what can I—_ “

“Do you for, yes, yes,” Hux finished for him. “I have an appointment—“

“ _Walk-in basis only,”_ Ren cut in.

Hux huffed. “You _said_ you took appointments!”

A deep, annoying laugh. “ _Just fuckin’ with ya. What’s up?”_

Hux dug his fingers into the wheel and forced himself to be calm. “I came to the address you gave me and it can’t possibly be correct, it’s practically an old folks home, there’s bloody fucking _palm trees_ for christsakes and this demented old lady is coming at me with her broom and her walker because I ran over her bloody flowerpot!”

The hangings on the window in front of him whisked aside and a dark-haired, dark-eyed face Hux recognized vaguely as Lord Ren’s—Lord Ten Inches, Kylo Ren, whatever—appeared just as the angry woman rounded the first corner of her wheelchair ramp.

“ _Oh, that’s Betty. She’s a demon on the sherry but I assure you she won’t—oh god those were her azaleas. Fuck. You better stay in the car or she’ll kill you with your own intestines. Let me deal with this.”_

“Okay,” Hux replied slowly, watching in bewilderment as the face disappeared from the window and moments later the trailer door flew open and a half-naked monstrosity of a man fairly leapt down the stairs, skidding to a stop before the old lady. She smacked him a few times with the broom but stilled at something he said, then, throwing Hux a truly bone-chilling glare, ceased her attack and wheeled around slowly to begin shuffling back up the ramp.

Intercession accomplished, Ren spun around and bounded over to his car door. A cartoonishly large and expressive face appeared too-close to his window shouting something that was muted by the glass and Hux rolled down the window, the door blocked entirely by Ren’s body.

“—she’ll leave you alone, for now,” Ren was saying, his voice impossibly loud and deep in the tiny car. “I promised to burn her a copy, hope you don’t mind—“

“A copy of what?” Hux asked with a frown. Ren was dressed in what appeared to be faded swimming trunks and nothing else, huge, powerful upper body entirely nude, littered in tiny, dark moles. Hux tried his best not to stare at the rippling set of abs and failed. Did Kylo Ren have an eight-pack? Was that even possible?

“Your ass getting pounded,” Ren said cheerfully, interrupting his thoughts. “Getting it on VHS will be a challenge, but I've always made sacrifices for my art. She always did have a sadistic streak, old Betty....but never mind that. I assume you’re here for deflowering? Defrocking? Whatever the hell they call it these days?”

“I have an appointment,” Hux stammered, and to his acute embarrassment, felt himself start to blush.

Ren’s dark eyes widened to impossible proportions. “Oh my god,” he said. “You’re Phone Appointment Twink. Holy fuck. You didn’t say you were ginger.”

Hux flushed deeper at the ‘Phone Appointment Twink’ epithet. “I assume that won’t be an issue?”

“God no,” Ren said, something akin to awe in his voice. “I’ve always wanted to fuck a ginger. I have so many questions. Are you a real ginger? Do you have freckles on your ass? Have you ever sucked out anyone’s soul? Are you ginger down—“

“Yes, I am,” Hux snapped. Despite his rather acute lack of sexual partners, he fielded this question regularly. Too regularly. The general public had a rather uncomfortable obsession with his pubic hair. “Now will you let me open the door, or not?”

Ren stepped back, a ridiculous grin on his face. “So feisty,” he said. “Feisty ginger twink virgin, I like it—“

“I’m not a fucking porn title!” Hux snapped, pushing the door open and clambering out, feeling his ears go flamingly hot. Wonderful. He probably looked like a fucking tomato. “Now are you going to fuck me or not, you ridiculous arse?”

“Uh,” Ren said, giving him a dubious once-over and taking a wide-eyed step back. “I don’t do minors.”

It was all he could do not to scream. “I’m _thirty four_ —“

“ID,” Ren said instantly, holding out a ridiculously huge hand. Fuming, Hux dug around for his wallet and extracted his licence and thrust it into Ren’s palm.

“Happy?” he demanded.

Ren whistled appreciatively. “This is a really good fake ID,” he said, turning it over in his thick fingers as Hux stared in disbelief. “Probably overkill for Florida, though. Folks here’d sell alcohol to roadkill if it offered them a tip and a blowjob.”

Hux clenched his teeth together so hard he thought they were liable to break. “I am thirty-four years old,” he growled. “I have a PhD in theoretical Physics and a brown belt in Jiu Jitsu and if you don’t stop talking and start fucking me within five minutes I will throw you to the ground and scream complex topics in linear algebra into your ear until you beg for mercy.”

“Kinky,” Ren said with a cheeky grin. Before Hux could think of suitably bone-chilling mathematical concepts to make good on his threat, the world suddenly shifted and his stomach swooped considerably as Ren all but tackled him, tucking his legs neatly from under him and scooping him up in his ridiculously large arms and loping for the open door of his trailer. In dizzyingly few strides he’d traversed to the bedroom and before Hux could properly get his bearings he was thrown unceremoniously onto an equally ridiculously large bed, limbs sprawling, his arse sticking up ignominiously over his head, where he lay face-first in the mattress.

“Smile, babe,” Ren grinned, and adjusted the camera, a bulky, downright jurassic camcorder that looked like it couldn’t have been made before 2003, so that it pointed towards them. It was connected by a frankly repulsive tangle of wires to a dilapidated laptop, where a strip of his own pale, pixilized and ghostly pale ass between his shirt and jeans glowed at him. “Your itty bitty ass is on camera.”

“Fuck you,” Hux muttered, but his voice was muffled by the comforter—printed with the playboy bunny, he noticed. He was well aware his ass was tiny. But what kind of fucking porn video started by pointing that out, anyhow—?

Ren ignored him and curled his obscene hands around his waist, tickling his sides and making his breath catch. He pulled down the zipper of Hux’s jeans and yanked them down—

“Oh babe,” Ren said aloud, and gripped a cheek in each huge palm, baring him entirely and making Hux wish absolutely for death but also for the most ferocious unrealistic fuck internet porn could offer. “You are absolutely the _sluttiest_ virgin I’ve ever met, and that’s _saying_ something.”

Hux yelped as Ren snapped his admittedly tiny lace thong against the cleft of his ass, then made a horribly humiliating noise of surprise as a finger rubbed directly over his entrance.

“Definitely a virgin,” Ren said, and Hux could _hear_ the smirk in his voice. He yanked Hux’s pants further down his legs, continuing his torrent of verbal abuse in those rich, deep, honeyed tones. “Did you wear this for me, you little slut?” he purred, and Hux whined, face burning. “Do you have the bralette too, babe? Pierced nipple? I think you’d look good with a sweet little tramp stamp just about _here—“_

He licked a hot, wet stripe from Hux’s entrance to his tailbone and Hux made a filthy noise, whimpering as Ren’s tongue pulled up only to descend on his hole again, swirling around it hot and wet in the most obscene manner. Hux fisted his hands on the hem of his shirt and held it in place, mostly to keep from writhing like a whore but also because he _had_ worn the matching bralette. It was scarlet and, according to the surprisingly non-judgmental saleswoman at Victoria’s Secret, clashed awfully with his hair.

“Fuck, you really are ginger down here too,” Ren said as he surfaced for air, cupping Hux’s balls in one huge paw and giving them a not-too-gentle squeeze, laughing as Hux squealed in protest. The world spun as Ren hauled him upright, spreading his thighs wide for the camera and palming his straining, throbbing cock. “Look, I’m not kidding, he’s fucking orange. Fucking ginger twink sluts will be the death of me. Fuck he’s even hard and blushing and I haven’t even put my dick in him yet. Fucking hell.”

On the laptop screen Hux could see he was flushed and panting, already looking filthy and ruined as if he’d been gangbanged by a whole group of Lord Ten Inches, moaning and spread wide like an _actual_ porn star.

“Alright babe tell me,” Ren growled into his ear, slipping his huge hands up Hux’s t-shirt and sending a shiver that was definitely arousal skittering down Hux’s spine. “Do you want the traditional pounding for your slutty little ass or would you prefer to ride me into the sunset?”

“Fuck me,” Hux gasped and Ren laughed as Hux made a high, keening noise as Ren’s fingers teased his erect, horribly sensitive nipples, thumbing over them and making Hux squirm against something that—his stomach dropped—impossibly felt like _actually_ ten inches pressing against his back. “Fuck me as hard as you— _fuck,_ Kylo—!”

The last was as Ren pushed him roughly into the mattress, hand on his back holding up his shirt to expose the bralette clasp. Ren’s thick, muscular thighs wrapped around is own, that monstrous cock pressing threateningly against his arse. Hux’s heart fluttered at the very idea of it entering him—surely it would hurt terribly. He wanted to take the whole damn thing. He rubbed his oversensitive nipples against the comforter, desperate for any kind of sensation besides that consuming, burning desire to be filled, used—

“That’s Lord Ten Inches to you,” Ren admonished, spreading his legs and giving the cheek of his arse a little slap. Hux moaned and ground clumsily against Ren’s hips, bare arse bumping against the hardened cock.

“Woah there, cowgirl,” Ren said, making Hux snarl and swear into the comforter; something cold touched him and Hux gave a horrible yelp as Ren teased a finger around his entrance.

“So fucking tight,” Ren said, his deep voice thickening noticeably. He pushed more aggressively against him and Hux’s stomach seized, gasping; only Ren’s hands on his waist stopped him from thrusting back against him. “So fucking tight I can’t even get a finger into you. You’re going to be so fucking tight around me, you slutty fucking virgin, I can’t believe no one’s used your little hole before, you’re going to be so fucking full of me babe it’s going to blow your stupid fucking virgin mind—“

Ren pushed the first part of his finger in and Hux cried out, feeling the most delicious stretching, unnatural and awful and he wanted so so much more, “ _More_ ,” he begged, jerking his hips and crying out again as Ren slipped in deeper. He wanted him up to the knuckle—hell, he wanted his whole damn hand, his fucking fist if he could take it.

“So eager for me, babe,” Ren purred. “Do you throw yourself at every cock you see? It’s a wonder you’re still a virgin. I’d have fucked you five ways till Sunday if I’d gotten a little slut like you slobbering over my cock.”

The finger slipped in further and Hux groaned. He couldn’t possibly open more—he felt opened up beyond what he could have previously imagined, he couldn’t possibly take Ren’s cock without a trip to hospital.

“Patience, sweetheart,” Ren cooed, as if reading his mind. “Calm those pretty little tits and relax, babe, open up for me. That’s it, sweetheart. Let me in. You’re so slick and wet for me already, just gotta stretch out your itty bitty hole so you can take my big dick. You’re gonna love it babe, it’s gonna blow your fucking little twinky virgin mind and you’re gonna scream my fucking name when you come all over your fucking face—“

Hux cried out as he thrust himself back onto Ren’s hand, taking it all the way in. He moaned and kept moaning as Ren began to fuck him with it in slow, lazy strokes, making him writhe and rub his chest against the sheets and jerk his hips as his face burned with shame and approximately sixteen years of sexual frustration.

“That’s it, babe,” Ren breathed. “Do you want more? You’re doing so good, so fucking good, you’re gonna love when I fill you up, I’m gonna come inside your slutty little ass and you’re gonna fucking love it so much.”

“More,” Hux groaned. Something akin to the weak orgasm he gave himself in the showers was building at the base of his spine, curled, powerful, monstrous, like some ancient beast awaking from some deep slumber. “More, damn you, you fucking bastard—“

“Fucking feisty ginger bitch,” Ren growled and slammed a second finger into him—

Hux screamed and for a second he imagined he saw stars as Ren fucked him rougly and quickly with both fingers. His hunger was insatiable now, he wanted a third, a fourth, Ren’s monstrous cock itself buried deep within him—

“I’m gonna rearrange your fucking guts,” Ren panted into his ear. “I’m gonna spoil your slutty little ass for anything but me, you’re never gonna get cock like I give it to you again and you’re gonna be begging me for more. I’m gonna make you a desperate fucking size queen who won’t sit on anything that doesn’t than these fucking extra large condoms and you’re gonna fucking love every damn second of it, isn’t that right babe?”

Hux groaned out his assent. His whole body was weak, trembling with exertion and desire and the terrible fucking force of Ren’s hand pounding into him with three huge fingers now. The covers were wet with his spit and his head light from breathing harsh and quick—

“Almost there, babe,” Ren said, curling a free hand around Hux’s cock and making Hux moan loud and long. “You’ve got such a pretty little cock to go with your itty bitty baby ass, it just fits into the hand it’s so nice and small. Fun sized. You’re the perfect little fuck, you know that? Like a little toy. Fucking ergonomic or whatever. Cept no doll has an ass this tight, babe, you’re hard fucking work but you’re worth it, you’re gonna take me so good.”

Ren ceased babbling momentarily to slip in a fourth finger and let go of Hux’s cock to rip open a condom packet with his teeth, an affectation, no doubt, for the camera. The wrapper fell hear Hux’s face; it was, as promised, labeled extra large, some off brand that was no doubt as awful as Ren himself.

“So close babe,” Ren panted, his voice tight with concentration as he fumbled to pull the condom onto his straining monstrosity of a cock. Hux watched his struggles on the laptop screen with incredulous impatience, shouting obscentities as Ren dropped the obscenely large thing and had to start all over.

Then at last it was pulled wholly over Ren’s shaft and he was fucking Hux with all five fingers, which was good because Hux sincerily doubted whether his trembling thighs could take much more abuse.

“You ready, babe?” Ren as he palmed himself down with a second generous helping of lube, then positioned himself behind Hux and seized his waist in both paws. Hux moaned something that he hoped sounded like an affirmative.

Hux gasped as Ren breached him and moaned deep and loud, eventually going breathless with ecstacy as Ren eased in, so much _more_ than Hux could have ever imagined and so _hot_ and big and every time he was _sure_ he couldn’t take more Ren pushed in another inch until Hux choked and spluttered at every millimeter. His whole body felt thick, full with it, even his chest and throat felt thick constricted as if Ren were fucking his mouth, not his arse—

“Move,” Hux managed to gasp and Ren eased his hips slightly and _fuck_ it felt like something fundamental inside him was shifting. He tried to clench, reflexively, but found he could not, spread open and entirely full and at Ren’s mercy; he moaned like a whore but couldn’t move, just moan and moan.

Ren pushed back into him and Hux’s mind went white, a pulse of bliss ramming up his spine. Dimly he could hear Ren’s voice, or rather, feel his vibrations rumble in his own chest, something like “you like that babe” which Hux could hardly parse the meaning of, so totally owned by his own body as everything narrowed down to that blissful thrusting, the thrumming ecstasy that rushed through his veins like a drug.

He needed it faster. He needed it harder, he needed to be fucked as brutally as Ren promised. That looming avalanche was edging closer and closer to release as Ren thrust into him harder until his thrusting truly felt more like pounding than anything else, too forceful to possibly be enjoyable but teasing waves of bliss washed through him as he gasped mindlessly in Ren’s grip.

Ren suddenly shifted and suddenly Hux _felt_ it, a pure, perfect drag against some buried part of him as Ren fisted a hand around Hux’s cock and his last thought before he came was _fuck, I see why he has five stars on Yelp—_

Heat like the annihilating, inevitable death of the universe or a star going supernova blasted his senses and Hux felt himself go entirely boneless, his mind whiting out as actual pinpricks of light danced before his hazy vision. Shockwave of bliss so powerful rammed through him a second later and Hux jerked against the bed, clawing desperately at the sheets as he gasped out an orgasm more powerful and heart-stopping than anything he’d felt before and something that sounded almost like _Ren_ tore from his lips as he collapsed.

His hearing returned first in a sort of vague, hazy way before he blinked his eyes open, supremely unwilling. There was a crushing pressure on his ribs that had nothing to do with sex and everything to do with Ren’s equally boneless deadweight on his back; clumsily Hux attempted to jab Ren in the ribs with his elbow and Ren rumbled out a deep groan, rolling off of him and slipping out with a long, wet, filthy sound.

Hux whimpered at the emptiness and sudden cold; for all his crushing faults Ren _was_ rather warm and the wet lube and cooling come on his chest and—he flushed—his own face made him shiver.

“Tha’ w’s fuck’n amazznng baaabe,” Ren slurred, pawing at Hux’s arse. He stretched, catlike, and switched off the camera, drawing Hux unprotesting against his chest in one powerful arm. “How ‘botu I order takeout an’ I teach you how t’ blow me?”

“Fuck off,” Hux snapped, but made absolutely no move to wriggle from his grip. “How about you use that idiotic tongue of yours to do something productive for a change and lick the come off my face?”

“Hmmm,” Ren hummed, his voice resonating in both of them like a shared heartbeat. “Still feisty. And slutty,” he added, fingering the strap of Hux’s bralette. “And definitely ginger. But not a virgin.”

“Shut up,” Hux said, and wrapped his legs around Ren’s thigh, putting a pleasurable pressure on his groin and letting Ren trail sloppy kisses over his shoulders..

“Counter offer, I order takeout and we blow each other,” Ren rumbled in his ear between wet, loud kisses. “Sixty-nine.” Another kiss. “Best part: we don’t even have to fucking move.” A hand on his chest, stroking his nipples; Hux shuddered appreciatively. “We’ll make the takeout delivery person bring it to the bedroom. They can even fucking watch for free.”

“You’re disgusting,” Hux replied sharply. “This whole thing is ridiculous. Lord Ten Inches. You fucking are ten inches. You spout the most idiotic drivel and it’s obscene. I can’t believe I let bloody _Yelp reviews_ determine how I lost my virginity. I can’t fucking believe I let you fuck me on camera in a fucking _old folks trailer home_.”

Ren was still and silent and for a cold, terrible moment Hux thought he’d gone too far, that he’d wounded the absurd man’s ego. Then Ren grinned against his neck, his laughter tickling Hux’s skin, over-large nose bumping his ear. “I can’t believe you’re going to let me do it again.”

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I'm on tumblr [here](http://firstordershitposting.tumblr.com). Come say hi! <3
> 
> PS: To whoever prompted this....thank you.
> 
> PPS: ALSO I cannot believe I forgot to add this before BUT "Lord Ten Inches" is adoringly borrowed from llyn and eralkfang's Starfucker Base which for some goddamn reason I cannot get to link properly but honestly you've all probably read it if not DO IT


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